By the time PSD leader Liviu Dragnea announced his nominee for PM, a whole army of socialist politicians and commentators were already disposed in fire position in all national news studios. Although none knew the name Dragnea was going to pronounce, they were equipped with loads of ammunition for the grand salute. And had the libretto of glorifying odes ready at hand.
Sevil Shhaideh. This name came as a shock for most of the brave socialist soldiers too. But hardly had Dragnea uttered the final ‘deh’, when the salutation squads boomed all at once, as at a sign. Until they received Sevil Shhaideh’s profile on their mobile phones – some didn’t even know if it was a woman or a man, they had already started to chant an assiduous chorus of praise. Something generally qualifiable. At that very moment promptness was key. Theirs, and not the opposition’s voice, had at all costs to be the first to reach the eager ears of the Romanians.
Once they got the additional biographical ammunition, new salutations started to resound from their guns. God, had I ever heard a more clamorous chorus of adulators! That day Sevil Shhaideh was the most praised and appraised person in the world. Even those acquainted with the socialists’ penchant for praise found the show rather shocking.
Seven socialist virtues
PSD members and left-leaning commentators unloaded their ammunition till late into the night. The nominee’s virtues were displayed in a set order of importance. Hilariously, this was dictated by the order in which they were reading the bio texted to them.
The first merit was that of being a woman. Dragnea, the great socialist leader of the greatest party in Romania, was a visionary. He perceived the asset of power women represented and was intent on using it for the future prosperity of the Romanian people. If the President rejected this nomination, then he was a wicked misogynist. A man who did definitely not want the country to flourish.
Second came the virtue of being a Muslim, with Dragnea’s visionarism in a package. This time his visionary insight extended beyond the borders of Romania. His avant-garde socialist political thinking would solve one of the most acute and delicate problems of the day. This was the first intelligent move of a great leader.
The speakers with no exception expressed great fears the President was not going to appoint that woman Prime Minister. He surely had something against Muslims. Klaus Iohannis would prove himself to be the evil incarnate ruling over such a geopolitically important state. A man who would abuse his high position to stand in the way of global peace.
The next qualifications for PM were, in this exact order, that she was married, that she was married to a Syrian citizen, and that she was a hard-working person. Really very-very hard-working. If you assigned her a task, she would fall over backwards to fulfill it.
Two last but not least
Then mention was made of something related to the woman’s past experience. She had been for a few months minister in a previous Social Democratic government. Finally, the virtue of obedience concluded the list. I wonder why this last merit was declaimed with such pitiable pathos. True, no matter the speaker, this coda always sounded more like a lament. It almost made you see the whole list in a new light.
But then the cycle was on all over again. That day I simply learnt these seven socialist virtues by heart. They qualified Sevil Shhaideh for the position of Prime Minister.